Opinions on the start of my novel?
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Let me tell you something I learned just recently: If a reader doesn’t want to read your first sentence, it’s doubtful they’ll want to read anymore. Your story has action. Why not start with that? If anything, you want to hook your reader before going into detail. At least, that’s what I think. I mean, if you have a good plot, but your beginning drags on and ON, your reader won’t even get there. Learn to balance your details out with your plot. Pay special attention to it (plot) since you have your details down; it’ll be what drives your story. Got it? No plot, no story. Be sure your plot is evident to your readers!!! Try an editor, if he or she doesn’t get it, they’ll tell you nicely so you can fix it (: Good luck!
I read about five paragraphs and couldn’t read anymore – a little boring. Sorry. Try a little less description that early on in the chapter maybe?